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萨古鲁谈分手

发布时间:2018-11-11 17:25:48 来源:互联网 所属分类:心灵花园

萨古鲁说:如果你成为自己喜悦的源头,你将会拥有美好的关系。

Question: I have been married for four years. It was a lovemarriage. We came together out of love, but we have grown apart as the yearshave gone by. Why is this happening?


问题:我已经结婚四年了。这是一段有爱的婚姻。我们从爱中走到一起,但随着岁月的流逝,我们彼此分开了。为什么会发生这种情况?


Sadhguru:  So you came together in love, then slowly you fought,and without knowing why, you fell apart.If you plant a coconut treeand a mango tree in your garden when they were young saplings, they would havebeen of the same height. You thought they would get along pretty well and itwould be a great love affair! If both of them remain stunted and never grow,they will remain compatible – the same height and everything – but both of themwill remain dwarfed. However, if both of them grow to their full potential,obviously they will grow to different heights, different shapes and differentpossibilities.



你们因为相爱在一起,然后慢慢地战斗,不知为什么,你们分手了。如果你们在花园里种一棵椰树和一棵芒果树,当它们还是小树苗的时候,它们会长得一样高。你认为它们会相处得很好,这将是一段伟大的爱情!如果它们都发育迟缓,永远不会生长,它们将保持一致性—相同的高度,一切看起来都很协调—但是它们只能保持矮小的样子。然而,如果两者都充分发挥全部潜力,显然它们将成长到不同的高度、不同的形状和走向不同成长的可能性。


If we are looking forsameness between two people, then a relationship will always fall apart. Afterall, a man and a woman come together because they are different. It is thedifference that brought the two of you together.Unless you learn to enjoythe differences as you grow – and the differences may become starker and moremanifest as you grow – falling apart or growing apart will naturally happen. Ifyou are expecting both of you to grow in the same direction and in the sameway, that is unfair to you both. It will curtail and suffocate both your lives.Unless people learn to enjoy each other’s differences, they cannot staytogether – depending on how fast you are growing, you will fall apart in yearsor months or days.



如果我们在两个人之间寻找同一性,那么一段关系总是会破裂。毕竟,一个男人和一个女人聚在一起是因为他们的不同。正是这种差异使两个人走到了一起。除非在成长过程中学会享受这种彼此之间的差异—而且这个差异可能随着彼此成长会变得更加明显——分手或产生隔阂都自然会发生。如果期待着两个人朝着同一个方向成长,这对谁都不公平。它会缩短在一起共同生活的时间甚至导致关系窒息。除非人们学会享受彼此之间的差异,否则他们就不能在一起—也取决于你多么快的成长意识到这一点,否则你会在几年、几个月或几天内分手。


This whole expectationthat your partner should be just like you is a sure way to destroyrelationships. It is a sure way to destroy the garden. If we maintainsituations in such a way that one person is compulsively dependent upon theother, or both are compulsively dependent upon each other, you cannot keep thesituation going forever. Unless you allow, nurture and enjoy the differencesbetween two people, there is no way to stay together.



这种期望你的伴侣应该和你一样的思维是肯定会破坏关系的。这肯定会毁掉花园。如果我们让一个人强制性的依赖另一个人,或者两个人都强制性的彼此依赖,那么就不能永远维持这种局面。除非你允许、培养和享受两个人之间的差异,否则就没有办法呆在一起。


We need to understandthat these relationships have happened because of certain needs – physical,emotional and psychological needs. As people grow and mature, these needs willchange. When these needs change, what looked like everything between two peoplemay not feel the same way after some time. We do not have to base therelationship on those same needs forever and feel that the relationshiphas fallen apart. We can always make the whole relationship mature intosomething else.



我们需要明白,这些关系的发生是由于某些需求——生理需求、情感需求和心理需求。随着人们的成长和成熟,这些需求将会改变。当这些需求发生变化时,一切看事情的态度一段时间过后在两个人之间会有不同的感触。我们不必永远把这种关系建立在同样的需求上,没有达成就认为关系已经破裂了。我们总是可以让整个关系变得成熟起来的。


Whatever the needs thatbrought us together need not be the fundamentals of our relationship forever.The very fundamentals have to change as time passes, as one ages and matures inmany different ways.If that change is not made, growing apart orfalling apart is bound to happen.


无论什么需求把我们聚集在一起,都不必永远是我们关系的基础。随着时间的流逝,随着年龄的增长和不同的方式成熟,最基本的要素必须改变。如果不做出这种改变,必然会发生隔阂或分手。


Love&Grace

Sadhguru

爱与恩典
萨古鲁


来源:微信ID:ishayoga


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